Bringing new life into this world is truly one of the most miraculous and beautiful events we can experience. When it comes to becoming a surrogate, it also becomes the most selfless thing that a woman can do for another family. Even so, many people often ask “why would someone become a surrogate for someone else?”
Becoming a surrogate is a big decision. Not only does it carry the physical challenges of pregnancy, but it also bears its share of emotional and mental challenges along the way. Having the support of those closest to you is crucial to a smooth surrogacy journey.
As you go through this process, it’s important to maintain strong, open communication with those you hold dear: your spouse, your children, and those you confide in. With your inner circle backing you on your journey, it will empower you and help you further reap the rewards at the road’s end.
In this blog, we’ll cover common questions and concerns you may face when sharing your intention to become a surrogate with those you love.
Initiating the conversation about becoming a surrogate with your spouse or partner is a significant step in your surrogacy journey. Approach this topic with care and compassion early to ensure mutual understanding and support. Transparency and openness are essential, as surrogacy involves profound emotional, physical, and logistical considerations.
Share your motivations for wanting to become a surrogate and your hopes for this journey. Create a safe space for your partner to express their thoughts and feelings, fostering a dialogue where both of you feel heard and respected. This empathy and trust will be invaluable as you navigate the surrogacy process together.
If you meet the surrogacy requirements and still feel committed, explore detailed information on what becoming a surrogate entails. Next, we’ll address common questions and concerns your partner may have, understanding the implications for your relationship, and taking the next steps towards this incredible journey.
Before initiating the conversation with your partner about becoming a surrogate, it is essential to be well-prepared, both emotionally and informationally. This preparation will help create a supportive and understanding environment where both of you can discuss your thoughts and feelings openly.
Whether it’s the joy of helping another family, personal fulfillment, or a combination of factors, having a clear understanding of your motivations will help you convey your intentions sincerely. Expressing your altruistic and compassionate reasons for this journey can help your partner appreciate the depth and significance of your decision.
Next, familiarize yourself with the process of becoming a surrogate. It's important to discuss the steps involved from matching, to how pregnancy is achieved through In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), and ultimately how you feel about creating a family for intended parents.
Gathering detailed information on the timelines, processes, and surrogate compensation can help showcase the wonderful benefits you can expect from this journey. Knowing the typical duration of the journey, the steps required, and the financial aspects can answer many of your partner’s questions.
By approaching this conversation with empathy, preparation, and openness, you can navigate this significant discussion with your partner, laying a strong foundation for your surrogacy journey together.
Navigating the journey of surrogacy can be a complex and emotional experience, especially for partners. It's natural to have concerns and questions about such a significant decision that impacts the entire family. Here, we address some of the most common concerns partners might have.
One of the foremost concerns partners often have is the health risks associated with surrogacy. Like any pregnancy, surrogacy comes with its own set of risks and challenges. These can range from potential conception challenges to the physical demands of pregnancy that may arise. Ensuring that you, as a surrogate, and your partner are fully informed about these risks is essential. Engaging in open conversations with healthcare professionals through medical screening, seeking second opinions if necessary, and staying informed about the latest medical advancements can help alleviate some of these fears.
The legal landscape of surrogacy can be daunting. Partners may worry about the legal rights of all parties involved, the enforceability of contracts, and the protection of both the surrogate's and intended parents' interests. Fortunately, all legal fees for surrogates are covered by their intended parents. Hatch collaborates with some of the best attorneys in reproductive and family law, providing peace of mind for everyone and helping families feel more secure in the decision-making process.
Understanding the process of gestational surrogacy can help mitigate concerns. Gestational surrogates do not share a genetic connection with the child they carry. Instead, an embryo created through in vitro fertilization (IVF) is transferred to the surrogate's womb. This means the child is genetically related to the intended parents or donors, not the surrogate.
By listening to and addressing these concerns with compassion, you can create a supportive environment where both you and your partner feel understood and valued. Remember, surrogacy is a journey that requires mutual trust, and a shared commitment to creating a positive experience for everyone involved.
Embarking on the surrogacy journey is a life-changing experience not only for you but also for your family. It's important to recognize that this path may bring about lifestyle changes, requiring mutual support and understanding.
Surrogacy will necessitate adjustments in your daily routine and responsibilities. Your partner will need to provide emotional and physical support throughout the process, from attending medical appointments to being a pillar of strength during potentially challenging times. This commitment extends to ensuring you maintain a healthy lifestyle and adhere to medical advice. At Hatch, we provide compensation for lost wages if needed.
One of the more delicate aspects involves discussing the pregnancy with others. Your partner might face questions from friends, family, and colleagues about your decision to become a surrogate. It's essential to have open and honest conversations, preparing yourselves with aligned explanations to handle any curiosity or misconceptions.
The surrogacy journey may impose certain restrictions on intimacy, especially during fertility treatment. It's crucial to communicate openly about these changes and find alternative ways to maintain closeness and intimacy.
Your partner will likely need to participate in various screenings and evaluations conducted by the surrogacy agency. These assessments ensure that both of you are physically and emotionally prepared for the surrogacy process. Transparency and cooperation during these screenings are vital for a smooth journey.
Surrogacy can be an emotionally intense experience. Your partner may experience a range of emotions, from excitement and joy to anxiety and stress. Accessing support networks, such as friends, family, counseling or support groups, can be beneficial in managing these emotions and fostering a positive surrogacy experience.
At Hatch, your journey will be fully covered by your intended parents. You will receive allowances to cover everyday expenses during the cycle and pregnancy. We do recommend keeping your receipts if you do have to pay any small out of pocket costs such as parking, to submit for reimbursement. This is not meant to be an out-of-pocket expense for you. It's important to discuss and plan for compensation and financial aspects together to avoid undue stress and ensure a stable financial foundation throughout the surrogacy journey.
It is only normal to have concerns for your partner undergoing such a large commitment. Level with your partner and provide supporting resources behind what this journey means to you.
Now that you are equipped with the most common concerns partners have regarding surrogacy, journey details, and understanding the process, you are ready to share your aspirations with your partner. Remember, the topic of surrogacy may be an ongoing conversation as you both share and connect on what this journey could mean for your family. Continue scrolling for insights into sharing surrogacy with your children.
Check out this surrogate and husband duo as they share their surrogacy journey as a team:
Once your partner is on board, it's time to tell the family. When and how you tell your family may impact their reaction, consider potential sensitivities around the journey. Although you may be incredibly excited, everyone has their own ideas as to what surrogacy is. Continue on for expert guidance around sharing surrogacy with your kids and family.
It''s natural to wonder how becoming a surrogate will impact your own children. At Hatch, we believe in fostering open, age-appropriate conversations with your kids about this incredible journey. Explain to them the gift you're giving to another family, and how your own family will be part of this beautiful story. Assure them of your unwavering love and involvement in their lives throughout the process. Helping them feel included and excited about this journey can teach them empathy, generosity, and the power of creating happiness for others. It’s a journey that can positively shape their outlook on life, nurturing a compassionate and understanding spirit within them.
Talking with children about the “birds and the bees” and that babies aren’t actually delivered by Mr. Stork is a challenge of its own. But when you’re carrying for someone else, the conversation can become even more complicated for your young ones.
Having the surrogacy talk with children isn’t often thought of right away, but it’s extremely important to have those conversations as you match with your intended parents and confirm becoming a surrogate, especially with younger children at an impressionable age.
Some of the more common questions we see that could come from your children include:
Getting children to understand surrogacy can be difficult, but the use of analogies often works well.
Consider the Cake Analogy. Making a baby is like baking a cake, your matched intended parents have the recipe and special ingredients needed to bake a cake. And you’re just baking the cake in the oven for them until it’s ready to come out. Sharing complex information in a fun, digestible way can be helpful for kids to better understand the situation.
While many of the above questions also apply to other family members and close friends, it’s important to note that there are other important people in your network beyond your spouse and children.
From your parents to your closest friends, the importance of having your confidants in the know is not something to shy away from. It can often be a benefit to have someone that you don’t see every day but can trust to give you a fresh perspective on your progress through your journey. Whether it be your high school best friend that you see for coffee every month or your mother, when you need someone to be there for you, it’s good to have them up to speed and on your side.
Rest assured that there are plenty of resources available to guide and support you on this journey. From detailed information and research to support networks and professional guidance. Hatch Fertility is committed to providing the best resources and assistance, ensuring you have a positive and fulfilling experience.
Choosing to become a surrogate with Hatch means joining a community deeply committed to empathy and support. Our team comprises former surrogates and intended parents, offering you first-hand guidance grounded in personal experience. With over 30 years of expertise in serving families, Hatch Fertility ensures a caring and knowledgeable journey, making your selfless decision even more rewarding. Together, we create families and bring dreams to life.
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